Akatsuki School for Troubled Youth
by TheRoseandtheDagger
Summary: Akatsuki School for Troubled Youth. Where religion, economics and socialization is key to a proper education. A look at the teachers day and all that comes with it. Co-written with kisukebenhime.


**Akatsuki School for Troubled Youth**

Akatsuki School for Troubled Youth. Where religion, economics and socialization is key to a proper education. A look at the teachers' day and all that comes with it.

By

Kisukebenhime and The Rose and the Dagger

Pein = Principal

Konan = Vice Principal

Zetsu = Biology/Science

Sasori = Woodwork

Kakuza = Government/Economics

Hidan = World History

Itachi = Literature

Kisame = Gym/Health

Deidara = Maths/Chemistry

xx-x

xx-x

Konan shook her head as she walked down the corridor, the noise level coming from the class was too high. Checking her schedule she noted it was the new substitute.

"Well it serves you right, if you're not smart enough to hide your gum you lose it, and if you're stupid enough to throw it of course someone's going to throw it back at you."

Konan sidestepped as a young blonde ran out of the classroom her hands tangled in her long blond hair. Konan bit her lip to stifle her laugh as she saw the huge lump of pink bubblegum stuck in the student's hair.

"Now you've had your fun. Cop on! Open to page 578 and if you're lucky maybe you can convince me not to make you write out the chapter word for word for homework."

Smiling Konan walked back down the corridor making a quick note in her book, she would definitely be getting this substitute back in the school.

x-x  
x-x

"No, you little shit! The Great Wall of China was not built by fucking Superman!"

Hidan seethed as he looked at the brat Konohamaru as he sat in his seat giggling his little ass off.

Thank Jashin at that moment the bell rang. Hidan lopped the duster off the whiteboard as the students ran out of the classroom their homework sheets in hand.

Walking out into the hall he met the new teacher Deidara. "How'd the class go, they all turn up"

"Yeah, apart from that Sasuke kid." The blonde responded checking his attendance.

"You sure?"

"The brat never turned up for my class, yeah." Deidara drawled.

"Little dipshit is in, I'll take him back into my class. Let the idiot try and cope with my work load." Hidan threatened happily, if the little dipshit didn't take advantage of the smaller class let him see how much he'd have to do for him.

x-x

x-x

Kisame could have died laughing. Sure he tried to hold it in, but when the volleyball struck another girl in the face... there was no holding it in.

"I swear... that has got to be the funniest thing I've seen all year." The co-ed class followed suit and laughed with him.

"That was an illegal spike!" the pink-haired victim cried with her hands on her hips. "A point should be deducted!" She was right.

x-x

x-x

Deidara sighed as he waited outside the classroom's door for the students to arrive. Suddenly spying the red head, orange head and giant in the throng of students he called out.

"Karin, Jugo, Suigetsu hurry up and get in, yeah."

"Can I go to the toilet sir?" Suigetsu pleaded hefting his bag over his shoulder.

"Not a chance, get in and get out your books, yeah." Deidara ordered remembering Zetsu's and Anko's warnings of this bunch and not to let Suigetsu out to the toilet as there was a very slim chance he would return at all. Thank goodness that Sasuke kid was off today.

"But Sir, I really have to go!"

"Sit down and get your homework out to correct." he repeated nodding at Shizune the SNA assigned to this class.

Jugo thankfully enough had his head down, running through the algebra sums substituting for x and y, but Karin and Suigetsu were worse than kids and Shizune was a godsend trying to occupy Karin as Suigestu constantly asked to go to the toilet.

"Well you should have gone at break, the toilets are locked now so stop messing and concentrate on your work." Deidara snapped, being nice was getting him nowhere, he could see why this bunch had been taken out of the main classes.

"But I can't concentrate; I have to go to the toilet!" Suigetsu whined, his copy empty of the work they had been covering for the last half an hour.

A few seats below from him Karin laughed and started to make a PSSSSSSHHHHHH sound that earned her a dark look from the boy.

"Concentrate and you'll forget you have to go." Deidara said turning back to the board, ignoring the name calling the brat was directing at Karin who continued to make water noises.

Finally snapping Deidara turned "You're 15 years of age, my baby cousins have more cop on than you lot. Suigetsu open your book and take down your homework. Karin stop making those ridiculous noises, now. Jugo good work, you already have most of it done."

"Their hard work" Shizune offered the young teacher as the students left.

"I didn't give them too much work?" he questioned.

"No. Keep them busy and interested." she answered as they walked down the corridor.

"Thanks for your help."

"No problem, it's what I'm there for." Shizune smiled.

x-x

-xx

Itachi glared daggers at the brunette sleeping in the back of class. It was the same everyday; the Nara boy would lazily slip into the room, plop down in his seat and put his head down. And just like every other day, Shikamaru would fall asleep. Today, Itachi had enough.

"Nara." He called and received no answer. Standing from his chair as the other students stiffened and sat a little straighter in their chairs, the Uchiha stepped around his desk. "Nara." He said again and got nothing. Picking up the 1000 plus page Lit. book, Itachi walked over to the sleeping boy.

WACK

"Ouch! Son of a-" Shikamaru cut his cry short as he stared up at hard onyx eyes. "Sorry, Uchiha-sensei."

"Stand at the front of the room and read the first act of MacBeth... aloud."

"Man... what a drag."

-x

-x

"Are you serious?" Kakuza looked down on Hyuuga girl in disbelief.

"Yes Sir." she whispered as lavender eyes took in her Sensei's look of disgust at her business plan.

"You Father runs one of the most successful companies and you're proposing donating nearly fifty percent of your profit to charities." Kakuza stated with a straight face.

"It's tax deductable." she anxiously offered, hoping to appeal to her Sensei's business savvy.

He snorted and threw the business plan on her desk. "And what about your employee wages, your outputs, your expected losses, look at what the bloody bankers have done to us, would you survive in the current climate?" he questioned ruthlessly.

"How do you expect to keep any money if you're giving it all away?" He exclaimed.

Instructing them to open up their books and look over public companies, Kakuza took out the school budget. Writing a post-it he told himself to tell Hidan to stop breaking the whiteboard dusters, sure they were cheap but not at ten a week for only one teacher, Idiot.

x-x

x-x

"Delusional"

Zetsu looked over at Sasori as he munched on his sandwich.

"I am not letting that delusional fool back in my work room" he ranted. Seeing Zetsu's look of confusion Kisame laughed "You missed it when you were supervising geography, luckily I was bringing in the second years from the pitch, front row seat."

Sasori banged his hand against the table his eyes narrowed in anger "That idiot Rock Lee got a hold of my best sander, blatantly ignored my warning that it had to be used with my supervision."

Kisame stifled his laughter and Zetsu winced, everyone, staff and students alike knew how obsessed Sasori was with his equipment.

"He was trying to make a carving of that idiot Gai!"

Hidan taking a seat beside them laughed loudly as even the art teacher Anko stopped to listen, cringing at the mention of Gai, how that guy became a teacher was a mystery to her, he had no discipline and again and again skirted the boundaries as he tried to hug the students.

"He broke the sanding belt! Do you know how much it's going to cost to fix that! I'm doing to have to pay some of it myself!"

The other teachers around the red haired man shook their head in sympathy, knowing how Rock Lee grated on the nerves and in a rush to show his youthfulness never fully listened to instructions – even when they were said for the third time.

Walking over to them with a cup of tea, Kakuza snorted "Exactly, I'm not rearranging the bloody budget for you."

x-x

x-x

Pein was not the type of person to smile and say 'Have a good day'. And why should he when the brats that surrounded him tried to toilet paper his house... twice. No respect. The only person who seemed to understand him was the Vice Principle, Konan, and she was just the same as him.

Making his usual rounds in a dark blue suit, Pein turned the corner and stopped. A mass of students were circled around two girls beating the crap out of each other.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" the kids shouted as a tall, blonde-haired girl with four ponytails punched a smaller girl in the face. Why, oh, why did HE have to walk in on one of these?

"That's enough." Came his clipped tone over the shouts of the children.

He stepped forward to stand between the two girls opening his arms to take the older girl in a hug hold - as that bloody discipline course had harked on and on about. Spying Hidan coming around the corner he motioned for him to grab the other girl.

Just about to restrain the pony tailed girl he was thrown back when she turned and punched him in the jaw.

There was complete silence as he turned his head and met the girls horrified gaze.

"My office now! Both of you!"

He stalked off not even bothering to check if both girls were following him. Reaching his office he slammed the door closed and attempted to calm down. The little bitch - detention, suspension, expulsion, what to do.

"Suspension, report cards and extra after school detentions, her father is our main benefactor, Kakuza will kill you if he had to rearrange the budget . . .again" Konan said as she entered the office and handed him an ice pack.

x-x

x-x

If someone told Tobi he was going to have a near-death experience today, he would have laughed in their face. Home-Ec would never be the same after today's fiasco.

First, there was the flour fight... that he started (just because). Then there was the egg on the floor that he slipped on, making him slip and crack his head on the floor. Now...

Tobi gulped.

"Tobi is in soooo much troooouuubleeee..." cake was splattered on the wall, floor, counters and ceiling. Maybe they used a little too much flour. As the students stood from their crouched positions, they looked around the room with a sense of awe. "Tobi woun't tell if you don't." He said to the group of seven students he had. They nodded in agreement.

x-x

x-x

"Do you understand the question Ami?" Zetsu asked with a sigh

"Yes sir" the girl answered

"How do you increase the yield of cabbages in a green house?" he repeated the question, his eyes flicking over her answer in resignation.

"Yeah, like I said cover the glass" Some god somewhere was laughing at him Zetsu thought, correction, Pein was somewhere laughing at him, after rearranging his classes and dumping this lot on him.

"That is incorrect - do you complete your reading assignments from Uchiha-Sensei"

"He doesn't give us any." she replied, her voice holding that tell tale tone that screamed 'I'm lying'.

"I highly doubt any English teacher would tell a student not to read, in this case I advise you get a dictionary and look up the meaning of yield." he stressed to her in exasperation, was anything getting through to her.

"I don't need to, it means stop - I passed that question for my driver's theory." Ami smiled in triumph as Zetsu resisted the urge to bang his head off his desk.

"Well you certainly won't pass your biology exam in that case." he said simply, handing her her biology exam and its large red No Grade mark on it.

Thank god Easter was only weeks away.

x-xx

-x

x- x

_Dia Duit,_

_Firstly I have no right to Naruto and once again this was co-written with kisukebenihime. We got talking and then we got these lovely little snippets of a teacher's day. I hope you enjoy and please review, we'd love to know you're thoughts._

_Lots of love,_

_The Rose and the Dagger x x xx_


End file.
